a word about warning others
If you've ever seen someone who is an abuser, perpetrator, or predator in public, it can be an excruciatingly helpless feeling. It can feel even worse when you see an abuser with a new partner/potential victim. You want to warn others, but because of safety reasons, it's almost impossible to do that without putting yourself or someone else at risk.
​
We've been there.
​
You've likely been hard at work rebuilding your life after experiencing abuse and going through the harrowing process of getting out. We are here to remind you that while it is brave to want to help and protect others, your healing journey is of the utmost importance.
​
But what about potential new victims? What about their safety?
​
Let's work through that, together.​

safety first - always
If you are thinking about warning the new/potential victim that their partner has volatile, dangerous, and abusive behaviors, we urge you to consider the following:
​
1. Speaking to the victim when the abuser is present or nearby puts you and the victim in a very dangerous situation
2. While warning him/her may simply plant a seed now, it's unlikely they will end the relationship instantly.
3. The victim will likely tell the abuser what you said and the abuser will almost always flip the narrative, claiming you are the abusive party. That's because narcissists have a tendency to paint themselves as the victim and blame others for their abusive tendencies and behaviors.
4. The abuser may go on a smear campaign, telling others false or twisted information about you that can be a huge obstacle in your own healing journey.
​
As difficult as it is, this is the time to put yourself first.

if you choose...
However, if you choose to try and reach out to the potential victim, take as many safety measures as possible.
​
1. Tell friends, family, and especially law enforcement what you are planning to do.
2. Make sure the encounter takes place in a public area.
3. Do not seek the victim out (that's stalking). It must be a chance meeting.
4. NEVER approach a victim when the abuser is present or nearby.
5. Understand that there may be no immediate resolution to your warning.
​
After you've experienced abuse, it's natural to want to warn others and prevent someone else from being in danger. There is a way to safely share your story.

share your story
Sharing your experience, including the warning signs, the abusive cycle, and your process of getting out can help others. In fact, it could save lives.
​
Along with resources, articles, and thought leadership, The Vigilante Project shares anonymous accounts of survivors' stories. The more we all share about intimate partner violence/domestic violence/dating abuse, the more other people will be able to spot the signs and hopefully prevent abuse in the future.
​
Join the vigilante movement and share your story.
And remember, stay vigilant.
​